It is Trauma… and Grief
Hi, Hearthfolk,
In this episode, I discussed the instant aftermath of what happens in the space after being involved in a layoff. How it causes so much trauma and grief, how it lingers, and – briefly – how it continues to impact you even after you’re employed again.
After you’re employed again…
That traumatic feeling doesn’t just go away. And I’m speaking from experience.
To me, it hasn’t linger in a normal sense. TLDR: I was laid off the Monday following my vacation for my birthday very unexpectedly in May 2024, thought I had secured a job through a temp job only to have it be yanked away leading me to spend from August to November job searching til I landed where I am today.
And when I first started – and even now -, I was a people-pleaser. I did everything I could to make sure I was an asset and to show they hadn’t made the wrong decision in hiring me. Which in the sense of my hard work the previous two and half years to set up boundaries against that happening…. It wasn’t healthy nor was it a good idea.
I had a hard and fast boundary that I crafted early on when I first started at the job that laid me off that was created by my previous job:
Do not do extra credit for anyone without being given incentive to.
And you might be like, why, Trula?
Because in the world as we know it today, there is no incentive for company loyalty in the capitalist state we live in. With layoffs currently at an all time high, companies trying to utilize AI to create atomization, and so many other things – gestures at the state of our government -, companies do not deserve loyalty. Raises are meeting the current cost of living hikes that keep happening. There’s no one regulating the way companies are raising prices like crazy. And don’t even get me started on the tariffs.
Something that helped me…
Was sitting down and really evaluating my work boundaries. I did this before I was gainfully employed again but then went back to this after I had passed the training phase at my current job.
I took the time to determine what my boundaries were going to be for when I was gainfully employed again. Which to be honest they were very simple:
- I will only work during my contracted hours – even if I’m salaried.
- I will not sit at my computer during lunch and keep working as my lunch is unpaid and my personal time.
- I won’t settle for less than what I deserve.
Now the last one gets to be very broad because honestly, I could handle a cut in pay just to be on a good team where I am supported properly and not made to feel as if taking time off needs to be kicked off by creating a massive list of what’s going on in my work life and then fearing a return to more work than I left.
In the end of it all…
The job market sucks right now and I’m very blessed to have landed where I am. I know that many are not as fortunate as I am and are most likely still experiencing the job hunt in this horrid job market.
I don’t have some amazing way of getting you in front of people to get the job. I wished I had a magic wand to wave and everyone would have what they need.
But what I can tell you, is that one way or another, things will work out to your betterment. You may not see it, but it will come. Don’t get discourage. Remind yourself that your value isn’t tied to your employment.
Until our next cup of tea,
Trula Marie
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